Jokes

1.
A guy walks into a diner and sees a sign that says "Hamburgers $1, cheeseburgers $2, hand-jobs $10". He then sees a really hot girl standing by the counter. He walks up to her and says "Are you the one that gives the hand-jobs?" She replies with a yes. He then says "Well you better wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger!"



2.
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all
perish.

They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks
the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male
organ?"

She giggles and shlyly! replies "well, I once touched the head of one
with the tip of my finger.

St. Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and
pass through the gate."

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question "Jennifer, have you ever
had any contact with a male organ?"

The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and
stroked one."

St. Peter says "Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass
through the gate."

All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One
girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the
front, St. Peter says, "Lisa!
What seems to be the rush?"

The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I
want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it.